reading Goodbye to Shy by Leil Lowndes
85 Shybusters That Work:
01: Don’t tell people that you’re shy. Save the revelation for people who are important to you, like relatives or close friends.
02: Allude to your shyness with a smile and a speedy explanation that the reason you can’t say “yes” is because you’re shy. Make it short and sweet.
03: Toss your own shyness off casually, and it will slide off your listeners like a satin sheet.
04: If you know that some physical symptoms of your shyness will show, jokingly “warn” people of your incipient blush, mushy mitts, or sweaty flashes.
05: Never say “I am shy” to yourself.
06: Forbid family and friends to call you shy.
07: The next time you find yourself apprehensive about an upcoming situation, make a list of your positive qualities. When you’ve finished your list, actually plan how you can use each to your benefit.
08: No one will know you feel insecure, so tell yourself "No one knows I'm shy."
09: The next time you meet someone and you think that they don’t like you, realize that there is an overwhelming chance that you are wrong. Consciously look at new acquaintances for signs of acceptance in their smiles, the warmth in their eyes, and their accepting body language.
10: Don't dwell on the negative parts of encounters and focus on the positive parts.
11: Don’t sabotage your self-esteem by trying to socialize with people who do not accept you openly. Instead, seek out people who respond warmly when you reach out to them.
12: Steer clear of people who make fun of each other. For now, you are probably too sensitive to let the bawdy insults “roll off your back.”
13: Consciously notice other people, what they’re wearing, how confident they look, how they’re reacting to situations and other people, and not you.
14: You’re better than you think you are.
15: Go cold turkey on avoiding people and things.
16: Compile a list of people and situations past, future, and general that make you feel intimidated.
17: Rearrange the list from most intimidating to least scariest.
18: Construct a staircase of doable steps.
19: Explode your energy sky-high in the morning, then let it settle gradually.
20: Light your internal sparkler in short bursts at appropriate moments, and you will see the spark spread like wildfire.
21: Throw your shoulders back. Stand in the middle of the room. Walk through the middle of a door. Don’t fidget. Make large, fluid movement.
22: If you have a major problem making eye contact with people, start taking baby steps. Gaze into an infant’s eyes. Babies’ tiny peepers will start you on your way.
23: Make eye contact with the over-seventy set. Then work your way down to the over-sixties, and so on, until you can look comfortably into the eyes of people your age.
24: Go for people who want your eyeballs such as salespersons.
25: Ask for help with the staring exercise. Look steadily into each others’ eyes for longer and longer periods of time. When you’ve worked your way up to a minute, have a conversation with your friend while maintaining exaggerated eye contact.
26: While keeping eye contact with someone, silently say to yourself, “I like you.”
27: Practice various smiles in the mirror.
28: Find any excuse to smile at others.
29: Smile and be friendly so that they don’t feel hurt and think that you are a snob.
30: Reinforce your smile by giving others a compliment.
31: If you find a challenge exceptionally difficult, do not skip it but do it.
32: If a masked ball or Halloween party comes up, don a costume that completely disguises.
33: Take an evening or weekend job working with people. Make it a situation where you are being judged not as you but as the role you are playing.
34: Head straight for a town where nobody knows you. Talk to a variety of people.
35: Imagine the type of person you’d like to be. Now, put together the outfit to match.
36: Consider changin your employment to help you grow.
37: Look for common questions and then practice your answers in the privacy of your own home.
38: Interview with half a dozen companies that they couldn’t pay you enough to work for. When you feel like you know their game, go for the gold—interview for the job you really want.
39: The more contact of the public you have in a job, the more effective a shyness shedder it will be.